Zach Selwyn

Actor. Musician. Host. Writer. Dinner Guest.

  • “LA DISPENSARY” LAUNCHES AS A GROUNDBREAKING VERTICAL INSTAGRAM SERIES EXPLORING LOS ANGELES’ CANNABIS CULTURE

    Los Angeles, CA – The cultural capital of cannabis finally has its own story told on screen. “LA Dispensary”, a new vertical comedy series that premiered on Instagram and YouTube Shorts takes viewers inside the quirky world of a fictional Los Angeles dispensary.

    TRAILER HERE

    Shot entirely in vertical format to match the way audiences consume content on their phones, “LA Dispensary” blends sketch comedy and observational humor from the perspective of two budtenders, played by Megahn Perry and writer/director Zach Selwyn. New guest stars enter the dispo every episode.

    “Cannabis is not just a product —it’s a lifestyle, a culture, and a community,” said Selwyn. “With ‘LA Dispensary’, I wanted to create something that was funny and original – as far as I can tell, this is one of the first vertical comedies out there which I think will be the future of Hollywood now that the studios have all moved to Ireland.”

    The series is designed for quick, binge-worthy viewing on Instagram, making it accessible to a global audience. The first two episodes have been released through Hiii Media’s Instagram @hiiimag – as well as @LADispensaryshow

    For Press Inquiries reach out to Zach@hiiimag.com

    420 acting cannabis Comedy dispensary funny humor improv Los Angeles marketing movies Music news SNL weed writing Zach Selwyn
  • Singer-Songwriter Zachariah Selwyn will release his 5th official LP next week, a country-hip hop concept album entitled “Firing Squad.” The record is based on an unreleased scripted western project that Selwyn has been developing for more than a year.

    “I guess I wanted to get the music out before the project was done,” Selwyn says. “I know that projects like this sometimes get sidetracked.”

    The “Firing Squad” soundtrack features female vocalist Gia Ciambotti (Bruce Springsteen/Joe Walsh) in a starring role, marking the first time the band has used utilized a second lead singer on record.

    “Gia is an absolute mesmerizing presence on a microphone,” Selwyn explains. “I keep hoping she joins our band permanently, but the road isn’t that appealing for most of us anymore so for now we’ll keep it in the studio.”

    “Firing Squad” also features longstanding band members Dan Wistrom, Bobby Joyner and producer/multi-instrumentalist Jesse Siebenberg. (Lukas Nelson).

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  • Premieres Sunday February 19! on AXS TV!

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  • Bill-Walton-1  Recently, on social media and my website, I have made no secret of my modern return into the world of competitive basketball. I play full court four days a week at the Hollywood YMCA and recently entered a Three-on-Three tournament against other fathers at elementary schools, which I happened to have won. (My proudest athletic achievement in my life to date – not counting the time I took Colton – the star 7-year-old pitcher – DEEP in a father-son Little League game last summer…)

    -5
    Ray, me and James – LCS 3 on 3 Dad Champions

    I have re-discovered a love for the game I haven’t had sine 1993 and I’m actually a better player now than I have ever been.

    Throughout my life and into high school, basketball was everything. As a 6’2” inch eighth grader, I was groomed by my coach to become the next great Arizona Wildcats big man. Unfortunately, I haven’t grown an inch since eighth grade. I switched to the wing, where I lacked certain skills, but was still able to hold my own mainly because I was actually grabbing the rim with ease and in top physical shape. However, around age 18, I discovered the usual pitfalls – Weed, beer and women – and decided that since I had no chance, or interest in walking on my college team, I would hang up my Air Jordan XII’s and I only stepped on the court a handful of times over the ensuing decade.

    -8
    The author (circa 1992) on the left just before discovering cannabis.

    A few years ago, however, I was listening to UCLA great and fellow Grateful Dead-Head Bill Walton broadcast an Arizona- Oregon basketball game, when something he said struck me deep inside. After he spent a few minutes comparing some obscure 1970’s Bob Dylan song to the Oregon Ducks’ fast-break technique, he discussed his history of injuries he attained while playing. At the end of this sidebar, Bill Walton claimed to have broken his nose 13 times.

    “That’s what happens when you play defense with your face,” he exclaimed.

    He also mentioned his surgically fused ankles, incinerated spine, broken wrists, 36 surgeries and broken leg – all suffered on the basketball court. Walton’s lifelong injuries, along with his 1978–1979 year-long protest of the Portland Trail Blazers unethical treatment of his injuries, gave him the record of missing the most games during an NBA playing career, when taking into account the number of years he was officially listed as a player on a team roster. He spoke of how debilitating it became to walk and I researched even deeper to see that Walton once even contemplated suicide due to severe depression from debilitating back pain.

    However, Walton then made a comment that made his life on the disabled list seem even more surreal… He observed a certain move power forward Solomon Hill had made and remarked, “That is a move to study – for those of you who are still lucky enough to play basketball…”

    Lucky? How could 13 broken noses and suicidal thoughts be considered lucky? I felt that I was lucky to have quit basketball with my original nose still in place. What was Walton talking about?

    Attempting to find out, the next day I dusted off some 10-year-old shoes and made my first trip to a court in what was nearly five or six years. I checked out a basketball at the YMCA that looked as if it had spent a good majority of its life underwater, and went to shoot around. It took me awhile, but eventually I was making short jump shots and working on my cardiovascular fitness while running up and down the gymnasium floor. Some of my old spin moves came back to me, and I put up a couple of nice finger rolls and hit some three pointers. It actually felt amazing.

    -1About an hour later, a few guys asked me if I wanted to play “21” with them, but I declined, afraid of shooting 9 air balls and getting embarrassed. Instead, I continued to work on some post moves and drives and watched them from the corner of my eye. They were laughing, having fun and playing just above the level where I was – which made me think I might have hung in there if I had accepted their challenge. Instead, I returned my ball and went home and told myself I’d be back the next day.

    I did come back the next day. And the next. I ran that court nearly every other day for months until I was actually joining the games of 21 and winning a good majority of the time. For the first time in over a decade, I was having a lot of fun playing basketball. I soon found myself in the full court games and now, three years later, found myself coming home and discussing the games with my wife as if I was playing in the NBA Finals. It became an obsession to the point where if I missed a lay-up during a game, I got depressed for the rest of the day. Still, it drove me to come back again, improve and remedy the situation.

    -4
    My shrink had me draw a self portrait of what made me happy. Statistics are “close enough…”

    My wife thought I was nuts. Every time I would bring up my day on the court, she would roll her eyes and remind me that I’m more Kevin Arnold than I am Kevin Durant. She also warned me to be careful, to which I reminded her that I was playing against a bunch of guys in their 30’s and that I was in better shape than most of them.

    And then, about six months ago, I got smashed in the nose by a teenager who lowered his shoulder into me on a penetration. My nose now cracks in both directions when I try to move it, but I luckily avoided a full break. Then, a couple weeks later I was slightly concussed after being run under by a guy who was pissed that I was outplaying him. I ended up sitting out two days nursing my brain – which luckily was not permanently damaged. In December, I took an elbow to the bridge of my nose, which caused it to bleed profusely all over the court and earned me 75 “likes” on Instagram.

    -3
    Blood on the basketball court. 75 “likes” on Instagram

    In February, I jammed my left thumb so hard during a rebound that I am still having trouble operating the zippers on my jeans. Then I jammed my right pointer and ring finger in consecutive games. I’m consistently fighting shin splints and a bone spur. Finally, last week, I discovered that I have bursitis in my right shoulder and that I might not be able to play for three weeks or so. This will be my first trip to the disabled list in my athletic career. And I’m a month away from 40. According to my dad, the injuries will now just start piling up. In short, I am about to enter my Bill Walton years. Now, my family is giving me all kinds of advice.

    “Maybe think about not playing anymore,” my mother offered. “You know, you’re no spring chicken.”

    I hung up on her.

    “A spin class is much better on your body,” my dad suggested. I simply sent him pictures of my three-on-three trophy and told him I’d be back on the court in a month.

    “Don’t do anything stupid, you don’t want to really hurt yourself,” my wife told me.

    I rolled my eyes and studied Russell Westbrook highlights like it was important game film.

    During the past week, I have found myself watching Bill Walton again. I guess recently there have been petitions to remove him from the Pac-12 broadcast booth, which upsets me entirely. Sure, he can go on tangents about the time Bob Weir and him spoke Arabic to camels in the Egyptian desert, but his unique and loveable qualities are what make him a treasure in the booth. He’s not a cookie-cutter color guy. He’s quotable and full of basketball wisdom. In fact, he may be my favorite college basketball announcer working today. Not only does he know the game, he makes it fun. I know he seems like he might be high or severely “out-there” once in awhile, but his love for the game is like nobody’s I’ve ever heard before. Not only that, his passion for the game is what got me playing basketball again.

    Rock & Pop - Grateful Dead - Bob Weir - #fl_0108
    Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead in Egypt ’76

    Without Bill Walton, I’d still be jogging three miles on a treadmill. Not competing and not getting any sense of accomplishment.

    For that, I thank you Mr. Walton. For inspiring me to lace up my sneakers that early morning three and a half years ago and return to the sport of my youth.

    Bill-Walton
    Walton at the height of his game resembling the lead singer of My Morning Jacket. (1978)

    The evening after I won the three-on-three “Dads” championship, my wife said I had a “glow” about me. I knew what she was talking about, because I felt it. It was a sense of invincibility and achievement. I felt young again. Above the rim. It brought to mind a famous Bill Walton quote I had read years ago when he said, “You don’t win championships by being normal, by being average…”

    I may have only defeated a bunch of dads in a Saturday pick-up tournament, but for those of us who are just hanging onto the final glimpses of what we might be able to accomplish as men, it was as if I won an NBA Championship.

    Now if you excuse me, I have to go ice my shoulder. I’m planning on returning to the court earlier than expected…

    -6
    The LCS “3 on 3” basketball trophies I won. My proudest athletic achievement to date.

    Buy Zach’s BOOK at amazon.com!

    **UPDATE!** Read Bill Walton’s email to ZACH below following the publication of this essay!!

    Bill.Walton <bill.walton@billwalton.com

    to me
    all good things in all good time

    here we go—-forward, furthur,
    good everything forever, BW,
    and please don’t play defense with your face, there’s no future in that

    BUY ZACH'S BOOK at AMAZON.COM!

    READ SOME WALTON-ISMs HERE : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/bill_walton.html

    announcing Basketball. March Madness Bill Simmons Bill Walton Chuck Palhuinak ESPN essays funny Grantland hoops humor NBA UCLA Zach Selwyn
  • August Ames AVN Awards Brazzers Comedy funny Jessa Rhodes Peter North porn stars Pornhub SNL xxx Youporn Zach Selwyn
  • HACIENDA is streaming everywhere. Here is a music video for the song “When I Return (I Promise You)” – GO stream or download! (CDs coming soon!)

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  • Billy Bob Thornton Bubbles and the Shitrockers Canada Comedy Julian Randy Ricky Ronnie wood songwriter Trailer Park Boys Zach Selwyn
  • 420 americana Americana Route 66 Byrds Colorado Cosmic Country Country linen desert Gene Clark Gram Joshua Tree Route 66 tucson Ukiah
  • <blockquote class=”instagram-media” data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-version=”7″ style=” background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% – 2px); width:calc(100% – 2px);”>

    <p style=” margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;”> <a href=”https://www.instagram.com/p/BZj_BSagq-s/&#8221; style=” color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;” target=”_blank”>Got an amazing musical surprise from @zachselwyn and @rahzelthelegend at @interbrand's #BGB2017. Thanks for the impromptu jam session guys! @roywoodjr was rocking out right off screen.</a></p> <p style=” color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;”>A post shared by Dr. Oz (@dr_oz) on <time style=” font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;” datetime=”2017-09-27T23:05:12+00:00″>Sep 27, 2017 at 4:05pm PDT</time></p></div></blockquote>
    //platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js

    dr. oz freestyle interbrand oprah rahzel rap
  • Those pesky STANLEY QUENCHERS driving you mad? Making you broke? Zach wrote a song about it…

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Tag: Guinness

Hang w/ Zach/Dan Cortese in Times Square NOV.6th! Break a Guinness World Record!

  • October 31, 2013
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Television · TV Shows

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truTV is Giving New Yorkers the Chance to Break Records in Times Square 11/6

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truTV & GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS to give new yorkers chance to break records at the Guinness World Records(R) Unleashed arena in Times Square. Dan Cortese, Zach Selwyn, Mark McGrath and More Slated to Appear at Nov. 6 Event, one day Before truTV Launches New Episodes of Guinness World Records Unleashed

truTV and GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS are giving New Yorkers an opportunity to set some new world records in the Guinness World Records(R) Unleashed Arena. Located in Times Square (46th/47th and Broadway), the Arena will be open 2-9 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 6, the day before truTV’s hit series Guinness World Records Unleashed returns with brand new episodes.

Guinness World Records Unleashed host Dan Cortese will be on-hand for the fun, along with comedian Zach Selwyn and GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS’ Liz Smith, who provide commentary in the series. In addition, severAl GuinNESS WORLD RECORD adjudicators – including Guinness World Records Unleashed adjudicator Stuart Claxton – will be present to ensure official recognition of any records broken during the day.

Guinness World Records(R) Unleashed – New episodes begin Thursday, Nov. 7, at 8 p.m. (ET/PT)

During the event, world-renowned sculptor Andy Gertler – who has mastered a range of media, including pumpkin carving, sand sculptures and ice sculptures – will attempt to set a brand new Guinness World Record. Using nearly 15,000 marshmallows he will attempt to build the world’s largest marshmallow mosaic, expected to be more than 86 square feet in size once completed. In addition, there will be a demonstration by speed-reader and viral video personality Trisha Paytas, who will attempt to break the record for Being the world’s fastest talker in the season premiere of Guinness World Records Unleashed.

Also slated to appear at the Guinness World Records Unleashed Arena will be Mark McGrath, host of truTV’s Killer Karaoke; Q, Murr, Joe & Sal, the stars of truTV favorite Impractical Jokers; Les, Seth & Ashley of truTV’s hit series Hardcore Pawn; and Ron & Amy Shirley and Bobby Brantley from the popular Lizard Lick Towing.

Visitors to the Guinness World Records Unleashed Arena will have the chance to break The Following records:

– Most seated free throws in one minute (Current record: 20)

– Fastest 20-meter butt scoot (Current record: 22.03 seconds)

– Fastest time for a team of two people to make a single bed (Current record: 14 seconds)

– Fastest time to build a 20-shotglass pyramid (Current record: 6.44 seconds)

Fans wishing to participate in the buzz surrounding the Guinness World Records Unleashed Arena are encouraged to use the official event hashtag: #GWRUArena.

For more information go to: http://truTV.com/Arena

 

Determined record chasers are gearing up to wow viewers and secure a place in the record books when truTV’s hit series Guinness World Records(R) Unleashed returns with all new episodes. Hosted by Dan Cortese, the series features daring and fearless record hopefuls as they attempt to secure their place in history by breaking some truly outrageous world records. Guinness World Records Unleashed premiered on truTV in February, averaging more than 1.3 million viewers and ranking as one of ad-supported cable’s Top 3 programs in its timeslot with key demos. The series is produced for truTV by High Noon Entertainment (Tough Love, Cake Boss, Hurricane Hunters), with High Noon Entertainment’s Jim Berger, Burt Kearns and Fred Birckhead serving as executive producers with Guinness World Records’ Rob Molloy.

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TONIGHT! Watch the premiere of GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS GONE WILD! on TRUTV

  • February 7, 2013
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Television · TV Shows

CLICK HERE CLICK HERE CLICK HERE CLICK HERE

Zach’s new TV show “Guinness World Records Gone Wild!” premieres tonight at 8:00 pm –  TUNE IN!!!

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GWRecords

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Watch the new Guinness World Records Gone Wild! TV Ad feat. Zach!

  • January 29, 2013
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Television · TV Shows

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