Zach Selwyn

Actor. Musician. Host. Writer. Dinner Guest.

  • Episode #17 Missi Pyle & Zach Selwyn

     

    We play “Fake or Florida” and talk about women’s panties…

  • Zach wrote and produced this piece for TBS Digital starring the Sklar Brothers.

    Sklar brothers
  • Zach and Missi Pyle have a new podcast called “Missi and Zach Might Bang!” Exec. Produced by Anna Faris and Sim Sarna of “Anna Faris is Unqualified” – the show takes on celebrity guests, improvisational music and offers entertainment business advice as well! Head to http://www.ewpopfest.com to buy tickets now!!!

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    Anna Faris Entertainment Weekly EW Might Bang Missi Pyle podcast popfest Sim Sarna Zach Selwyn
  • Thanks to the Mangy Moose Saloon for having us for 6 sets in 2 nights!

    Bo Burnham country music hip hop Jackson Hole Mangy Moose Midland steve earle Zachairah
  • Re-Examining the 1997 NBA Draft – If I Had Been Selected…
    (Originally published @Nerdist Sports 2017) At the end of my senior year in college – despite having not played organized basketball since high school and maintaining a 1.8 blood alcohol level for four years straight, my friends dared me to declare for the NBA draft. I wrote an official letter the NBA commissioner David Stern and presented my accolades: Six-foot-two. 3.8 G.P.A. Fraternity scoring leader and dunk contest winner on the 8-foot hoop in the parking lot. I wasn’t selected. Looking back now, I have to argue that I might have been a better pick than 75% of the players in the 1997 NBA draft. Sure, the draft produced perennial all-stars Tim Duncan (#1), Chauncey Billups (#3) and Tracy McGrady (#9), but for every one of those guys, there are three Ed Elisma’s (#40), Bubba Wells’ (#34) and Ben Pepper’s (#55). Who’s to say that if I was chosen in the late second round I wouldn’t have made a better impact than a guy like 44th pick Cedric Henderson? I was too short to be a forward, my high school position. My handle wasn’t strong enough to compete for a point guard slot, so basically, my only shot was to be drafted as a shooting guard – and my guess is I would have been picked somewhere around 46 – where Orlando took Alabama marksman Eric Washington. (Whose best year came with the Idaho Stampede in the NBA D-League in 2010). Due to some late garbage time minutes, I estimate I would have averaged roughly 1.2 points a game… Which is more than draft picks C.J. Bruton (#52), Roberto Duenas (#57) and Nate Erdmann (#55) ever averaged in their careers. The 11th pick of the draft was a guy named Tariq Abdul-Wahad. Nobody past the top 10 picks truly ever made a big statement in the NBA. Sure, Stephen Jackson (#42) was a key piece to the 2003 Spurs, Bobby Jackson (#23) was a sixth man sparkplug and Mark Blount (#54) was a dependable center for a few teams – but overall, 1997 was pretty mediocre… Even though I once bought into the ESPN theory that Jacque Vaughn (#27) would be the next Allen Iverson. My own personal draft journey began after a two-game playoff run in the annual 1997 fraternity basketball challenge. It was in a game against Pi Kappa Alpha. Their starting point guard tried to take me off the dribble to the left. I stuck my arm just above his bounce and poked the ball free into the open court. I ran after it, scooped it up and laid it in for the victory. My fraternity, Alpha Epsilon Pi had won our first play-off game in 10 years. In our next contest, we gave the brothers of Sigma Alpha Epsilon a good run, and I poured in 21 points. Ultimately, we lost on a late technical foul call when I got kicked out for calling the referee a “dickbag.” It was after that game, while consuming a lot of Natural Light beer, that I decided to declare for the draft. On draft day 1997, I sat on my mother’s couch with baited anticipation as the others had their moments. I ordered some pizza for my family. My mother thought I had lost my mind. As the evening progressed, I had seen enough of the long, tailored mustard and pinstriped suits making their way to the podium to shake David Stern’s hand. I watched as guys like Tony Battie (#5), Danny Fortson (#10) and Antonio Daniels (#4) put on those crisp new NBA caps. I accepted the inevitable as the first round telecast came to an end. The second round was only on the radio, so I sat in my Civic, listening in. “And with the 48th pick in the 1997 NBA Draft, the Washington Bullets select Predrag Drobnjak from KK Partizan, Serbia.” Really? A guy named Predrag was taken? Nobody could even pronounce his name. So what if he was a six-foot-eleven three time Euro League National Champion? I played on the frat tournament second runner-up team! Most of the players from the ’97 draft ended up overseas, injured or, in Ron Mercer’s (#6) case, involved in a strip club assault or two. I was no different – except for the fact that I never played one minute in the NBA. Then again, neither did Serge Zwikker (#29), Mark Sanford (#30) or Gordon Malone (#44). I still think I would have had a shot. Ed. Note: Zach Selwyn currently averages 15.2 points per game in his over 40-YMCA league.
    @nerdist basketball Comedy David Stern NBA NBA Draft sports sports writing tim duncan
  • Artists Creating Entertainment and Jill Benjamin Events brought Zach in to freestyle for multiple offices in the LA area for Valentines Day, 2024…

    acoustic corporate events Eminem freestyle humor improv lonely Island SNL valentines day Zach Selwyn
  • Zach is excited to announce he has published his first crime mystery novel, “Austin Translation.”

    Set in Austin, Texas during the summer of 2020, true crime podcaster Rob Stoner finds himself set up for the murder of a young girl. Now, using his amateur sleuthing skills, he has to clear his name, find the killer and save his marriage all during a global pandemic.

    Please download on Amazon.com – Physical signed copies will be available for purchase upon request for $10.00 in the near future.

    (c) 2020 Desert Hobo Press

    All rights Reserved

    austin humor Kinky Friedman mystery Novel Selwyn true crime
  • Song produced by Justin Stanley/Leroy Miller & Zach Selwyn
    California Country Cosmic Country country rock desert Five glasses of wine Midland pioneertown songwriter Zach Selwyn ZAchariah Lobos Riders
  • CREDITS…

    In the Presence of God *

    Firing Squad $

    New Suit for My Hangin *

    Honky Tonk Saloon @

    Bartenders in LA @

    You Built me a Ghost Town (Gia Ciambotti) #

    The River (With Bobby Joyner) $

    Gower Bridge #

    Dellmus Colvin @

    Last Country Road $

    City of Angels #

    Executive produced by The Pale Ryda

    All songs 2021 Desert Hobo Music (Ascap) written by Zach Selwyn

    Papago Records.

    MUSICIANS:

    (Acoustic, Steel, Lap Guitars) Dan Wistrom, Jesse Siebenberg, Leroy Miller, Zachariah

    (Drum Programming) Leroy Miller

    (Bass) Mark Antoleonos, Jeff LeGore

    (Keys) Brian Lapin

    (Fiddle) Lucy Clearwater

    (Harmonica) Bobby Joyner, Zachariah

    (BG Vocals) Lucy Clearwater, Leroy Miller, Bobby Joyner, Zachariah, Gia Ciambotti

    MIXED and PRODUCED BY:

    • – *Jesse Siebenberg
    • $ – Leroy Miller
    • # – Dan Wistrom
    • @ – Justin Jay
    country cowboy hip hop killers Lobos Riders Outlaw Country Rolling Stone steve earle todd snider true crime western Zach Selwyn Zachariah
  • Home
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Tag: Tenacious D

Zach Releases New Music-Comedy CD “Moose Knuckle”

  • April 23, 2012
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Uncategorized

Download and hear songs on MOOSE KNUCKLE HERE!!!

Download MOOSE KNUCKLE HERE!!!

Track Listing

1. Vegan Zombie

2. Frat Guy

3. I See Penises in Everything

4. Jay-Z’s Song to Blue Ivy on her Sweet 16

5. Meth’d Out Girlfriend

6.My Mom Fires My Manager

7. NBA Lockout Song

8. When Will My Mother-in-Law LEave My F*&king House?

9.Boner Gone

10. 4 Beards and a Tuba

11. Hunger Games

12. Moo’ves Like Haggard (F/ Jon Reep)

13. White People Problems (F/ Eli Braden)

Download and hear previews HERE!!!

artwork by http://www.chriskro.com

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