Zach Selwyn

Actor. Musician. Host. Writer. Dinner Guest.

  • <iframe style="border-radius:12px" src="https://open.spotify.com/embed/album/7vLLbzkNewhzYDVOZ0LGSk?utm_source=generator" width="100%" height="352" frameBorder="0" allowfullscreen="" allow="autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture" loading="lazy"></iframe>
    Comedy funny humor musical comedy rodeo zach SNL Zach Selwyn
  • T SHIRTS AVAILABLE!
    On Tour in the south April 4,5,9,10 May 2,3 9,10 with the ALL NASHVILLE ROADSHOW!!

  • After a long night on the sauce, dont take your 2 kids to the Magic Kingdom. Hear Zach spin his tale about a fateful hungover day a the “Happiest Place on Earth.”

    Download song here – https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/hungover-at-disneyland/id952764244?i=952764250

     

  • missi-zach-logo
    scotty mac

     

    https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-3-scott-macarthur/id1217686743?i=1000383315241&mt=2

    Kaitlin Olson Might Bang Missi Pyle podcast Scott MacArthur songs The Mick Zach Selwyn
  • Billy Bob Thornton Bubbles and the Shitrockers Canada Comedy Julian Randy Ricky Ronnie wood songwriter Trailer Park Boys Zach Selwyn
  • Zach breaks down the crowd, the Seattle Mariners and Lenny Kravitz’ penis.

    Live from August 4, 2015…

    420 country-rock Eminem freestyle rap I got Robbed Music poulsbo slippery pig Zach Selwyn Zachariah and the Lobos Riders
  • Aquaman-Movie-Seven-Seas-Tribes-1

    11 years ago I covered a $659.48 bill in a Vancouver bar because Jason Momoa had conveniently, “left his wallet at home.”

    Aquaman owes me some cash.

    All of these Aquaman billboards that are towering all over the country have had me nostalgic for a night, back in 2007, when I had spent the night drinking and hanging out with a young actor named Jason Momoa who was playing “Ronon Dex” on a TV show called Stargate Atlantis.

    I had met Jason because I had made and performed a viral “Stargate Atlantis rap video” about how much of a superfan of the TV show I was… (even though I had never seen an episode). The producers then offered me a small role as “Scientist #2” on an upcoming episode of the program and they even flew me up to Vancouver to act in a scene. We also scheduled a “Set visit” for the TV show I was currently on called Attack of the Show.

    This whole thing started when my friend Jane, a veteran TV producer, was asked by the Stargate universe to create them a “viral video” for the internet.

    This was during a small period of time when TV/Film companies were hiring producers to try and capture lightning in a bottle for the masses by shooting high quality videos that seemed cheap, affordable and easy to digest online… This was WAY before influencers, SoundCloud rappers and Instagram stories… This was before everybody had an iPhone and a high quality camera in their pockets and garage band on their laptops. If you had musical talent and were willing to work for next to nothing, you could get a million views and the respect of the industry in about a week.

    I had recently performed and produced a series of comedic rap videos for Attack of the Show – which led to Jane calling me to do a song about Stargate Atlantis as they attempted to develop their online brand.

    “Have you ever seen the show?” Jane asked me on the phone one afternoon.

    “No, but that won’t matter,” I responded. “Send me the DVD’s and I’ll write a song tonight.”

    Her messenger delivered the DVD’s that afternoon. I watched six episodes. By 11 p.m. that night I had written an entire rap song about how much I loved Stargate Atlantis and how, as an actor, my dream was to be on an episode of the show…

    Two days later we recorded the rap song with a music producer named Terrace Martin. Yeah, the same Terrace Martin who rolls with Kendrick Lamar. You know that song “Damn?” THAT TERRACE MARTIN. The man is a hip-hop legend. However, back in 2007 he was just another guy trying to make it, like we all were… and his resume included some indie rappers and a couple of songs with Snoop Dogg.

    Here’s the Stargate Atlantis song and video we shot while making it…

    After this song and video went “nerd viral,” which meant that all the Stargate Atlantis fans went crazy analyzing the lyrics and anointing me the “King of Stargate rap music” – I began receiving hundred of emails and MySpace requests from Stargate fans across the world. They all had names like “Wraith Woman #2” and “Daedulus Dude” and were asking me for my address so they could send me things like Stargate collector’s plates and shit. (I still have these). It was crazy. The fans rivaled Trekkies or the disciples of the Star Wars Universe. I had suddenly been accepted into the tight circles of Stargate fanatics.

    The video was spreading and an executive producer on the show  held a cast and crew screening and made me an instant celebrity amongst the cast, grips and writers of the show. It was INSANE. A week later they flew me up to Vancouver to play my small role, put me up in a hotel and even PAID me… These are the type of jobs that RARELY come along…

    Anyway, I first met Jason Momoa on set the day of my scene, and I watched him train incessantly for some tricky fighting sequence. I interviewed him along with the rest of the cast for my set visit and got along well with everybody. What stood out to me most about Jason was that, whereas the rest of the cast had big, beautiful trailers… Jason had an AirStream trailer from the 1960’s. The other cast had couches, but Jason had removed his and fastened in a hammock instead. The dude was definitely living a different life as a TV star.

    stargate-atlantis-season-5-cast_y48g1a

    After interviewing him, we started talking music and went back to his Airstream where he showed me his 1940’s Gibson acoustic guitar that was worth about $5,000. I played it in awe and dreamt of the day I could play a character like his – a “Satedan,” a member of civilization from the Pegasus Gallery on my own bad ass science fiction TV show… Instead, on the episode that day I was simply playing “Scientist #2,” a character who contracts some disease and had a few throw away lines to Dr. Mckay (played by the hilarious David Hewlett).

    By the way, I still get occasional 13 cent residual check in the mail from this role…

    After my scene was shot, Jason casually mentioned that he had a day off the next day and wanted to know if I had any interest in getting some beers that night.

    “Sure, man,” I said.

    That evening we met at the hotel and proceeded to ambush the nightclubs of Vancouver. At first, we met some of his friends for drinks where the bartender refused to charge him anything. A few beers in and we headed over to a dinner spot where a bunch of his friends joined us. The drinks and food flowed and I was amazed at how many people stopped and paid their respects to Jason and his impressive dreadlocks. He was a big time celebrity in town… I just thought he was a cool guy. Then, around 11 p.m. the bill came.

    We all sort of stared at it for a long time. And then Jason picked it up. He looked at it, leaned over to me and whispered in my ear.

    “Dude, I left my wallet at my place, can you cover this?” He said

    “Uhhh, pay me back?” I said, rather scared to look at the total.

    “Yeah man, we’ll go to my apartment. I have cash.”

    And so, just like that, I put my card down and bought Jason Momoa and his friends a $659.48 dinner.

    And then we went to the bar and I bought some more beers. And then some more. And then we stopped at a liquor store on the way home where I picked up some Stella Artois to take back to his place.

    I was about $750.00 in the hole at this point.

    Momoa’s apartment was sort of like his trailer. He had decorated it with a bunch of his homemade leather furniture, was definitely not a fan of pre-fabricated food and he immediately put on the incredible Tom Waits CD Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers & Bastards.

    We drank a few beers and talked about Hollywood, his girlfriend Lisa Bonet and how he had dreams of becoming a “Warrior” in the movies or something… I told him how my dream was to play the Greek Theater in Los Angeles someday. We went back and forth about how the wolf was his spirit animal and mine was the eagle. He showed me his screenplay, which was wrapped in a handmade leather-bound notebook of some sort – and I gave him my band’s new CD Alcoholiday, which he told me he liked. He then gave me a copy of a terrific book called “Hobo” by Eddy Joe Cotton (A MUST READ) and we toasted to our dreams until the early morning.

    Around 3 a.m. I called a cab and my night out with Jason Momoa had come to a drunken, blurry end. I stumbled back to my hotel room at the Sutton Place and got into bed… It was then that I realized SHIT. I forgot to ask him for the money from dinner.

    The next day my wife called and asked me if I had spent $750.00 on our card, as she was getting “fraud alerts” from the bank.

    “Yeah, it’s a long story,” I said. “But I made a cool new friend!”

    A few weeks later, the British TV station SKY 1 contacted me about using my Stargate song as a promo to hype the upcoming new season of the show. I agreed and it opened up a brand new fan base across the pond. To this day, the ASCAP residual checks I got from that usage are above and beyond any financial success I have ever experienced.

    And somewhere, on an old hard drive of mine, exist about 25 photos of me and Jason hanging on set… in the bars and among the barflies of Vancouver back in 2007. There is also a segment we produced for Attack of the Show on a DVD buried somewhere in my garage, but I ain’t trying to go dig that shit out either… If you have it, internet, feel free to post it.

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    The author on set with Momoa 2007…

    Jason and I stayed in touch for a few years, texting songs and book recommendations to each other, but once he got more and more successful, our texts stopped and we both fell into busier work and fatherhood. Now, as I see him staring at me from the stage of Saturday Night Live – or from behind his massive Trident on an Aquaman billboard, I feel like he finally became the “warrior” he had told me he wanted to become.

    As for me, I haven’t played the Greek Theater yet… But, when I make it there, I’ll perform any song you want to hear…

    Even the Stargate Atlantis song…

    2007 acting Aquaman Attack of the Show David Hewlett essay funny G4TV Jason Momoa Kendrick Lamar money Music SNL stargate Stargate Atlantis terrace martin Vancouver Zach Selwyn
  • LOS ANGELES, CA.

    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

    Zach Selwyn Debuts First Novel Stoner Chronicles: Austin Translation
    Rogue Matter and Macmillan Press Launch New Literary Trilogy

    Rogue Matter, in partnership with Macmillan Press, proudly announces the March 24th release of Stoner Chronicles: Austin Translation, the debut novel by writer/actor and musician Zach Selwyn. The book marks the first installment in the Stoner Chronicles trilogy, to be followed by Drop Dead Gorgeous in 2027 and Hudson River Martini in 2028.

    Set against the vibrant backdrop of Austin, Texas, Stoner Chronicles: Austin Translation introduces readers to Selwyn’s sharply observed world—where art, excess, and humor collide. With a voice that is both irreverent and clever, Selwyn blends dark humor and emotional honesty, establishing a bold new presence in contemporary fiction. Famed Texas author/musician and personality Kinky Friedman wrote the foreword for the novel a couple of years before his untimely passing.

    “Kinky was an inspiration and a mentor in many ways,” Selwyn says. “The whole reason this book came about was because I was recording Kinky for a podcast down at his ranch and we started talking about writing – he encouraged me to finish the novel and keep creating.”

    The novel lays the groundwork for a trilogy of novels that move across cities, mysteries, and (often intoxicated) states of mind.

    “This book was one of those Covid projects written during the height of fear,” Selwyn says. “I was struck by how many people in Texas were defying the masks and vaccines – as compared to Los Angeles where we were all panicking and wiping down our groceries with Clorox.”

    Stoner Chronicles: Austin Translation is available for pre-order now through Rogue Matter and Macmillan Press.

    For review copies, interviews, or additional information, please contact:
    Trent Olsen

    Trent.olsen@roguematter.com

    book-review book-reviews books fiction reading
  • Billy Bob Thornton, Ronnie Wood, Bubbles, Riucky Julian and Randy will all be there… and so will yer boy ZACH! Playing Dwight the dim-witted guitar player, Selwyn also wrote four songs on the album! Check the record link below!!!

    https://open.spotify.com/embed/album/6tS0JOIbiOA1mE4aQTCmOA?utm_source=generator

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Category: Comedy Music News

Watch Zach’s video for “Too Old for Molly, Too Young for LSD”

  • May 2, 2015
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Comedy Music News · Hero · Homepage · Music · Zachariah & The Lobos Riders

 

A new Zachariah song from the LP “Hungover at Disneyland”. Featuring RJ Robinson on fiddle.

Download song here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/too-old-for-molly-too-young/id952764244?i=952764259

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Buy The Entire New Album “Hungover at Disneyland” NOW!

  • January 6, 2015
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Comedy MP3's · Comedy Music News · Sketch Comedy

Zach’s newest comedy CD is in digital stores – and yours for CHEAP! Check out HUNGOVER AT DISNEYLAND

Hungover at Dland

Featuring “Web MD Song” – “Jay-Z Signs White MC” – “Bad Night in Bro Country” – “LA Ski Hat Weather”  – “Dudes” – and The title track!

click here!

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Watch Zach’s new Video, “Hungover at Disneyland!”

  • December 19, 2014
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Comedy · Comedy Music News · comedy, music, lyrics, jay-Z, beyonce, blue ivy · Hero · Homepage

After a long night on the sauce, dont take your 2 kids to the Magic Kingdom. Hear Zach spin his tale about a fateful hungover day a the “Happiest Place on Earth.”

Download song here – https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/hungover-at-disneyland/id952764244?i=952764250

 

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Zach Releases New Comedy Music EP: “Hungover at Disneyland”

  • November 12, 2014
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Comedy · Comedy Music News · Hero · Homepage

DOWNLOAD ALBUM HERE!Hungover at Dlandhungover at disneyland TRACK LISTING:

The Only Gym That I Like to hit (Jim Beam).

LA Ski Hat Weather.

Bad Night in Bro Country.

Yo Jay-Z! (Be My Manager).

The Web MD Song.

Dudes.

Hungover at Disneyland.

Too Old for Molly, To Young for LSD.

Kirk Cameron vs. Charles Darwin

Gramma on the Front Porch!

Look for it soon on itunes and beyond!!!

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Watch Zach in new 2 Scarves video “Dont Tell ‘Em” by Jeremih!

  • October 14, 2014
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Comedy · Comedy Music News · Homepage · Sketch Comedy

Watch Waylon Nimoy and Cash Shatner aka 2 Scarves – and their new video for “Dont Tell ‘Em” by Jeremih – done for Playboy.com!!!

CLICK HERE!!!

2 scarves

<script height=”495px” width=”880px” src=”http://player.ooyala.com/iframe.js#ec=g5aTN5cDoiBa2oWBR5UyyINKgJXT0kCt&pbid=3fb9ae8bc2074ccb9b530f384f74a6f5″></script&gt;

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Enjoy “The Web MD Song” by Zach Selwyn

  • August 5, 2014
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Comedy Music News · Sketch Comedy
Album Artwork
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Tracks

 ZACH SELWYN * THE WEB MD SONG – Available for download Late 2014!

https://zachselwyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/web-md-song.mp3

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“Web MD will make you feel dead indeed – and soon your head will be spinning…

You’re not gonna die from that twitchin’ in your eye, my advice?

Get a second opinion…” 

ORDER ZACH’S COMEDY MUSIC HERE!!!

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Listen to Zach’s new song, “LA SKI HAT WEATHER!”

  • December 13, 2013
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Comedy Music News · Music

When it dips below 65 degrees in LA, the town starts dressing like we live in Vermont. Please enjoy “LA SKI HAT WEATHER” – from my upcoming comedy CD called “I Think We Should See Other People”

https://zachselwyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/l-a-ski-hat-weather.mp3

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ZACH’S First collection of Short Stories and Essays, “Talent Will Get You Nowhere” will be published in early 2014 on Dirt City Press! LOOK OUT!

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Zach releases EP of Comedy Central / Film songs from 2009-2011

  • June 13, 2013
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Comedy Music News

Zach is finally releasing a collection of songs never available to the public before via itunes! Most of these songs are from the SELWYN BROTHERS series of videos done for Comedy Central from 2009-2011 – but also included is “Im in Edukashun” from the film “Lower Learning…” Check it out!chick drinks cover

CLICK HERE TO BUY CHICK DRINKS

TRACK LINEUP

1. Im in Edukashun

2. Chick Drinks

3. Hello, Beautiful Homeless Girl

4. Recession

5. Porky Piggin’ It (Featuring Eli Braden)

6. Imagine a World

7. Whole Foods Song

8. Tonto Gets All the Chicks

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Watch Selwyn Brothers video “Chick Drinks”

  • May 29, 2013
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Comedy Music News · comedy, music, lyrics, jay-Z, beyonce, blue ivy

Purple hooters, watermelon shooters…

 

 

Directed ad Edited by Jesse Selwyn

Written and performed by Zach Selwyn

song produced by Dan Wistrom

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2 Scarves new promotional picture.

  • April 19, 2013
  • by zachselwyn
  • · Comedy Music News

7

2 Scarves new promotional picture.

https://www.facebook.com/2Scarves

Go like 2 Scarves Facebook Profile!

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